Tantric massage is highly energetic, and much of the same advice as one would follow for Yoga practice or other energetic treatments should be observed.
Before your session
- Eat a light meal at least two hours before your session, so that you arrive on a fairly empty stomach.
- As a recommendation, and especially with reference to men, sexual activity is not advised in the four hours before your session. This is so that your genitals are relaxed and fairly sensitized for your massage. However, this is a recommendation only, not a must; for some people, women in particular, lovemaking is very relaxing and the benefit of that relaxation may outweigh other factors.
- If you are a menstruating woman, the session is easily adjusted to accommodate for this if this is your only option; ideally you would not be experiencing any undue pain or discomfort. From the practical standpoint, there is no compromise in the effectiveness of the session and I am happy to do sessions with women at any time in their monthly cycles.
- Schedule your session with some free time beforehand so that, for example, you are not rushing from work to your appointment. Use this pause in the day to relax yourself with awareness and try to release any nervousness or tension. Also it’s best to plan that no obligations follow your session either; you may realize you’d like to process the experience quietly for a while.
During your session
- Consciously remember to let yourself receive without any need for reciprocating whatsoever. This is a time to just receive, to give up control, to allow yourself the opportunity to focus fully on your own pleasure and healing.
- Let yourself feel and express in the most heartfelt, genuine way. Please know that it is very common to cry during a session, as years of trauma, stored memories, or simply a protected, closed heart are brought into a realm of openness and release. This is normally a feeling closer to relief and being held than sadness; allow yourself to cry freely if this arises and to feel the full range of what naturally occurs for you without inhibitions. There is no one to impress, there is no one to compete with or compare yourself to, there is no shame, guilt, or judgment, there is nothing to be embarrassed about, there is no sound to make or not make – in short, there is no best way to respond during your session. You are uniquely you, and your body is a manifestation of divine perfection. Know that I behold you in this way, as a transfigured god or goddess. Your expression is as unique and beautiful as you are!
After your session
- I always close a session with the holding of safe space and a short meditation for crystallizing the effects and invoking gratitude.
- Please be aware that after your session you may experience purification effects. They may manifest physically in the form of irritated tissues, some discomfort or swelling, “rawness,” etc. Or they may be observed as emotional outbursts, instability, and a feeling of being sad, angry, or disturbed on one end of the spectrum, or an ecstatic high, feelings of bliss, expansion, and joy on the other – and even fluctuations between the two. It’s important to know that this happens because of cleansing effects at the subtle levels of the being, in the aural fields. When you remove old layers while working with the sexual energy there is a cleansing effect that resembles a detox, and you might feel unpleasant or even mildly ill. You can consider that this is similar to chiropractic adjustments; we often feel a bit sore immediately afterward because we are adjusting to a healthier, proper state of alignment and our body is still in a phase of resistance. These effects are ultimately always positive and will take you forward.
- I encourage you to journal and write a testimonial of your experience to recognize your feelings sort of “out loud” (yet still privately). After a session, your lovemaking and relationship can improve dramatically but you may also confront your shadows due to emotional openings and purification, and as a result you may need extra support. If any doubts, problems, or issues arise for you after your session, don’t hesitate to contact me. I’m always here to support you and will respond to you as soon as I’m able. You don’t need to pay extra to receive my aftercare support.I also invite you, if you feel inspired, to send me your testimonial: firstname.lastname@example.org. Your feedback continually informs my approach to the massage and the guidance I’m able to provide my clients.
- In the first two days after your session, take extra good care of yourself. Be with people who nurture and support you in what may be a more vulnerable and sensitive space. Share your experience with those you love; it’s OK to talk about it. After your session – and always! – be with people with whom you feel free to be yourself and whom you trust: your good friends, lover, sisters on the path, teachers, anyone who empowers your courageous exploration of your sexuality and your authentic truth in all its colors.
- Practice self-love every day – that means the active and affirmative projection of heart-based deep love directed toward you yourself – without apology, conditions, or qualifications, and without needing to “deserve” it. Just because. Because you are you and you are lovable. This is important for providing the “nest” for inner changes. All that has been stirred up, most often releasing what is unnecessary and reconfiguring in new and incredible ways, still needs to settle and would find the best foundation in your own welcoming and loving openness that sees your essence in its divine light.