What Is Tantra Massage?
Intro | Women | Guidelines | Men | Private sessions | Private workshops | Groups' workshops
Tantra Massage is many things! It is a life-changing experience, a sublime gift to yourself or your lover, a very personal and profound therapy, and … a massage as well!
Let’s demystify it a bit – just a bit! It should remain a little mysterious for you too, because every person experiences a completely unique journey into themselves….
In Tantra Massage, your genitals will probably be touched (with your permission). But this is not just a genital massage! Nor is it a full-body erotic massage with a “happy ending.” (Although most people feel very happy at the end!) This is a private session in which you are taken on a journey to your most inner intimate self. The entire session is held in a sacred, safe space in which you feel relaxed, comfortable, and free to express yourself.
I will introduce the session and prepare our time with a guided meditation. You will be asked to set your intentions and declare your purpose for the session as part of its ceremonial beginnings – a powerful phase during which you are freeing and clearing yourself of negative interference and aligning yourself with the creative process at hand.
When we start the bodywork, I ask you to stay fully present and communicate with me about anything which comes up for you during your session. I’ll touch base with you frequently, asking how you feel and guiding you through the process. Women will receive a “map” for their yoni (vagina), releasing pain if any exists and learning to increase the pleasure at the different orgasmic points inside the yoni. Men learn to increase their pleasure without ejaculating and, therefore, to increase their virility and become better lovers. Both women and men practice receiving a loving touch without giving anything back in return and thus turning more deeply inward. This is a great opportunity for you to let go of control, to trust and surrender fully.
I work with intuition and universal energies, so there is no routine for the massage. Each time you come, it will be different. Each person receives exactly what he or she needs to receive most in that moment.
For either men or women, a Tantra Massage is exactly what you need if you want to:
At the end of the bodywork, I leave you peacefully without touch for a few minutes, so you can be present to the sensations in your body as a result of the massage, to enjoy them and relax. Then we will conclude with another short meditation before you dress to leave. We conclude together with some sharing and a hug. Namaste!
Tantra Massage for Women – Effects and Benefits
When a woman is drawn to vaginal, or yoni, massage for its therapeutic benefits or ability to activate and magnify her pleasure potential, she does not always come boldly and directly. Many women are very hesitant, either because they have self-esteem issues which block their ability to receive or they have been subjected to some form of abuse or trauma which has closed them down physically and/or emotionally. In fact, many women come for yoni massage because they are non-orgasmic. Others are not fully satisfied and fulfilled in their sexual life and they want to learn how to expand their orgasmic potential.
Tantra Massage for women indeed helps women open and relax in such a way as to experience different states of orgasm during the massage itself. However, the best attitude for approaching a massage should not be oriented toward expectations and goals, but rather toward: pure openness…. When a woman tries to reach orgasm or her man aims to give her enough pleasure to reach orgasm, she is pushed into a subtle form of stress and such a goal-oriented approach can even block its intended result. Most of all, she’ll be taken away from the present moment – the opportunity to fully enter a deep relationship with herself. Instead of being present – relaxing, enjoying, receiving pleasure, and expressing joy freely – she will be trying to reach somewhere else, a mental projection built from what she thinks she should be experiencing. If she doesn’t reach that imagined goal, she’s liable to feel more frustrated, disappointed, and as if something is wrong with her or that she is not good enough, conclusions which feed a vicious circle that may continue to create a shield that blocks her from her highest potentials.
Some women have never had an internal orgasm when they come for a session and, during the massage, they do. This common scenario is sometimes attributable to a lack of ability to surrender and relinquish control, which is often the manifestation of a trust issue and closed heart. Sometimes this is evident when a woman can orgasm by herself but not with a partner. In addition, women may realize that other factors have contributed to taking them out of an orgasmic sphere, namely the dynamic that is at times created when men try to please their partners and women want to let their partners feel that they succeeded. This tension even leads some women to fake their orgasms, which is one of the worst things a woman can do within her sexual life, for herself and her relationship. A man will feel then that his partner does orgasm with him, so he will come to expect that she should continue to reach orgasm, and efficiently so. The woman will be put into another pattern of creating an expectation for herself and her lover.
Often, I have been approached by couples where both partners feel the woman has a problem as she can’t reach orgasm. To their credit, both of them realize that they need to show more patience, and this lack of patience is usually the first admitted problem. Secondly, they often feel blocked and afraid to say that they are not enjoying the experience, because the man fears his self-esteem may be damaged and the woman is afraid of rejection, and so… it all circles back to achieving the woman’s orgasm – which now produces more stress for both partners. However, both need to realize that it takes time for women to warm up. They need to take it slowly and build up their arousal. And they need to be able to enjoy and love themselves in the process. Sometimes, a couple attends the woman’s session together and – surprise – a woman who is normally not orgasmic with her partner reveals herself to be extremely orgasmic during the massage. This may also trigger feelings of inadequacy in the man, who suddenly realizes the problem may not be the woman’s after all, and even resentment in the woman, who has long felt blamed for intimacy problems in the relationship, when perhaps she was simply not provided the right stimulation or her partner did not last long enough to take her to orgasm.
Taking all of these factors into account, my invitation to women today and every day is to: be yourself, enjoy yourself, and love yourself! Allow yourself to stretch into the greatest openness within your personal universe, dropping everything related to conventions, expectations, and goals. If the orgasm comes, it comes. Letting go of expectations removes any boundary for the experience and allows the full and limitless range of potential to manifest.
In the right conditions, being touched in the right way, cradled within an aura of sacred space while you are loving and enjoying yourself, you will reach orgasm exactly because you are relaxed and enjoying, you can let go of control, and you don’t expect a thing. When it comes, let Shakti come to you and through you, bringing the divine aspect of the massage deep within you like a river of love that reaches your heart….
Yoni massage offers women these general benefits:
- Women learn to enjoy sexual pleasure in their whole body and not only in their clitoris. They also learn to perceive the different parts of their vaginas by making a map of the pleasurable potential in those points. The different movements and techniques help women to create a connection between the yoni and the rest of the body so that the whole body vibrates with sexual energy. This phenomenon can even lead women to experience a full-body orgasm and even to become multiorgasmic!
- Due to the internal nature of women’s genitals, women tend to store traumas and negative emotions in their vaginas, and generally with regard to the sexual expression. It could be the result of abuse in childhood, many times unknown, or just self-judgment due to emotional states later on in adulthood. In any event, this kind of massage, due to the fact that it's being done in a safe and loving environment, allows women to eradicate all those blockages and become free and confident about their sexuality.
- Women learn to receive pleasure without touching or giving back in return. They should try to relax and let their partner, or their masseuse, be "in charge." Psychologically speaking, it’s a challenge for women who are used to being in control or who are afraid to show/expose themselves fully, but when they allow the other person to give to them, by receiving they give a big gift of trust.
- A woman can realize that by doing so she actually gives so much to her partner! She gives him the opportunity to give (men like to please the woman) and she gives her trust, which is an enormous gesture. "In giving you receive" but also "in receiving you give." In the light of this, women grow to understand themselves better. By receiving this kind of massage they attune with their receptivity, heightening and increasing their sensitivity, connecting with the physical body and sensation. Very often women are numb and don’t feel anything. In this type of massage when they are touched with awareness and compassion, they are guided into bringing awareness to the places of their body where they are used to avoiding. This new awareness greatly helps a woman intensify her sensations and connection with her body; as it is said in Yoga, “Energy follows thought.” This means that, wherever we put our attention, we direct energy in that way. This is why being present and aware is vitally important for women. Sometimes attention alone is all that is needed to bring orgasm.
- Women can go to a very high level of sexual pleasure without losing their sexual desire. If women are interested in deepening their sexual pleasure or, in other words, becoming fully tantric practitioners, this massage will help them master their sexual energy. It means that they will be able to make love for a long time without getting tired or having pain, using the sexual energy to revitalize the whole body.
- Women can also benefit by deepening their spiritual practice. In this kind of massage women learn how to use their sexual energy and to channel it to the higher levels of their being. In other words, they learn to use sex to go beyond sex, sublimating this powerful energy. They learn to use the sexual energy to increase their self-confidence and lucidity, to open their hearts to love, to become more creative, to improve their mental concentration, and even to increase their spiritual aspiration toward the divine consciousness.
Click to read more about my Guidelines and Aftercare
Tantra Massage for Men – Effects and Benefits
Men who choose to approach Tantra Massage usually do so for different reasons than women. A man does not normally have trouble achieving orgasm during either lovemaking or masturbation. Normally, he may confront feelings related with fear of rejection due to the size or appearance of his penis (lingam), as well as performance anxiety and feelings of inadequacy surrounding his sexual relationships with women. For such emotional issues, Tantra Massage can bring a great deal of self-confidence to men.
One of the best benefits of this massage for men is that men learn greater control over their sexual energy. This is of enormous help to men who face issues pertaining to their capacity for arousal and premature ejaculation. First of all, men learn to recognize the gradations of arousal and to experience greater and greater levels of pleasure without ejaculation. Not only does this expand the capability of a man to handle pleasure, allowing him the possibility of increasing his own orgasmic potential, but it also trains him to experience lovemaking without ejaculating. This is very important in Tantra, as it brings men and women into closer synchronicity during their phases of arousal, allowing them to experience deep orgasmic states together.
Through this massage a man may also become multiorgasmic and even whole-body orgasmic, as he learns to disperse his arousal energy and to sublimate his pleasure into higher states of awareness, bliss, and even spiritual states of samadhi.
The effects and benefits of Tantra Massage for men include:
- Men learn to enjoy sexual pleasure throughout the whole body and not only focused in the lingam. The different movements and techniques help men to create connection between the lingam and the rest of the body so that the whole body is vibrating with sexual energy. This phenomenon can even lead men to experience a full-body orgasm and to become multiorgasmic!
- Men, similarly to women although many times very discreetly, also store traumas and negative emotions around their genitals. It could be a result of abuse in childhood, many times unknown, or just self-judgment due to emotional states later on in adulthood. In any event, this kind of massage, due to the fact that it’s being done in a safe and loving environment, allows men to become free of these blockages and confident about their sexuality.
- Men learn to receive pleasure without touching or giving back in return. During a massage, they need to relax and let their partner, or their masseuse, be “in charge.” Psychologically speaking, this is an unusual situation for men as they are accustomed to “performing”; they want to be leaders and sometimes they even receive most of their pleasure by touching, grabbing, looking, and giving – i.e., being active in their sexuality. In some cases this can be extremely challenging as men have to let go of control and surrender. They can realize in so doing that they actually give so much to their partner! They give her the opportunity to give (Shakti likes that a lot!), and they give their trust, which is a big gift. “In giving you receive” but also “in receiving you give.”
- In light of the above, men come to understand women better. By receiving this kind of massage they actually feel what it's like to be a woman in the sense of letting go of control, being receptive (yin) and therefore more sensitive, and allowing someone else to lead and be in charge.
- Men learn to accommodate very high levels of sexual pleasure without ejaculation. This makes them great lovers! If men are interested in becoming continent or, in other words, fully tantric practitioners, this massage will help them master their sexual energy. It means that they will be able to make love for a long time without the need to stop due to loss of energy (ejaculation) or lack of control over their sexual energy.
- Men can benefit by deepening their spiritual practice. In this kind of massage men learn how to use their sexual energy and to channel it to the higher levels of their being, effectively using sex to go beyond sex. They learn to sublimate this powerful energy and use it to increase their self-confidence and lucidity, to open their hearts to love, to become more creative, to improve their mental concentration, and even to increase their spiritual aspiration toward the divine consciousness.
Private Sessions
I offer private sessions of Tantra Massage more commonly than any other type of session. All sessions are intended to spiritualize your sexuality, lead you into greater awareness and openness, increase your orgasmic potential, bring you emotionally and mentally into a very positive and affirming space, heal sexual traumas, support you in sexually opening up, and release anything that blocks you from experiencing yourself in the fullest, deepest way possible.
In addition, everything valid for lingam massage is valid for prostate massage, for those who wish to explore this option. The prostate gland has been described as the “male G-spot,” with the ability to activate an enormous pleasure potential and to release blockages surrounding fear, shame, and guilt even more effectively than a lingam massage. Prostate massage forces men to become more receptive and to open themselves up to connect more deeply with their feminine side.
The prostate is accessed through the anus and rectum so men must have a willingness to explore this area if they wish to pursue this type of massage therapy. Prostate massage costs more than lingam massage and is valid as an option in a second session only.
Private Tantra Massage Training Workshops
Private massage workshops are teaching sessions based around private Tantra Massage sessions with the two partners in a couple participating. If your partner wishes to learn how to give you a Tantra Massage, this is a perfect opportunity. Two friends can also choose to learn together, using each other as models for practice. How do you know that you want to learn? First come and receive a session, then you can learn to share this gift with others. If you want to learn to give, first you need to learn to receive!
Stages of the Teaching Sessions
I recommend beginning teaching sessions only after both partners have already had private Tantra Massage sessions. When your partner is there, you are not there just for yourself but also for him or her. Sometimes this may put you into a less receptive and open mood, as you may feel “studied” and therefore, not as free to either explore your feelings and sexual responses or to express them.
Sometimes other factors emerge, including jealousy (a woman’s screams of ecstasy during her massage may activate the jealousy of her partner, since this has not happened with him), other relationship tensions, the wish not to disappoint one’s partner, etc. It is more ideal to have a partner attend your second session, at which time he or she can begin to observe, learn how to offer, watch from beginning to end and take notes, and possibly become involved in the massage in small ways at certain points, trying out the techniques and allowing me to verify their correct practice and offer helpful tips.
During the second session, our approach will become more methodical, with more explanation, theory, and demonstration. I guide and initiate you with my hands as I instruct you on aspects of communication: what to say and when to say it to the recipient, how to support him or her, how to be a better giver, what to focus on while giving, what to bring from yourself when giving. You’ll be guided to give from the heart, putting your ego and any selfish needs aside, to be present only to give and support your partner in this sacred journey. This session should be done at least once; twice is even better in order to refresh your memory, reinforce the practice, and learn new techniques.
In the third session (or fourth, as you have chosen): You will give the whole massage by yourself while I sit beside and guide you, giving you support and adjustment, tips, encouragement, and demonstrations if need be. You will thus give the whole session from beginning to end with my support, asking for my assistance whenever you feel it is needed, and I will support you in any way requested.
In each session, it is preferable to focus on only one partner, unless you have chosen to book double sessions, which involve both partners. However, I don’t recommend this if you aren’t pressed by time constraints. Normally people don’t want to give after receiving Tantra Massage; they are enjoying the very special aftereffects of the experience and would not choose to be propelled into an active role so quickly.
You Will Also Learn…
This Private Tantra Massage Training Workshop is also a Tantra Workshop in practice. I will introduce you to the practices of consecration, transfiguration, connecting through the breath, eye gazing, various exercises in communication, and of course ample guidance in the sacred art of touch.
I invite you to explore Tantra Massage in this way so that you can bring it farther into the world, to touch the heart and soul of the one you love with this beautiful practice of awakening!
Group Tantra Massage Training Workshops
Note: For those who would like to organize these workshops among your friends, I offer the gift of free attendance in return!
Group Tantra Massage Training Workshops are an excellent way to explore Tantra Massage and also learn in a supported environment. The group itself brings a lot of energy to the teaching process, which is very powerful. However, I don’t recommend that your very first experience be held during a group workshop. During your first Tantra Massage you should be focused entirely on receiving the massage, exploring your own pleasure, and having space held solely for you and your experience. Some women who chose to experience their first Tantra Massage during a training workshop (not mine) reported feeling neglected and that they did not get the support they felt necessary while they were processing the experience, likely exactly because they were not the focal point of the session and were rushed on a timetable which was not their own. In addition, while this is a great training platform, it is a good idea to experience a professional Tantra Massage before you receive an amateur massage (even from someone who loves you and has the best intentions). You should know some taste of the highest potential for the massage before beginning to learn it.
The most important principle of this teaching workshop is that you enjoy giving. Just as in sex, you always receive what you give! We approach this training with lightness and a fun spirit, yet at the same time I hold the teachings to very high standards, maintaining a professional attitude, transmitting proper methodology, and demonstrating very clear instructions. I will guide you in a meditative yet thorough and detailed way how to offer this gift. As part of our training, we will discuss the proper setting for a massage and attend to the comfort of all participants (recipients), being sure to keep awareness in the forefront of our general massage attitude.
What inspires you to undergo this training? For each person, the reasons will be different. Hopefully the wish to help your beloved reach bliss, deep sexual fulfillment, and his or her highest potential contributes to your motivations. This training offers many other benefits, some of which are:
My Tantra Massage Training Workshops are usually six or seven hours in duration, spread over a full day with a lunch break. Most often, couples join a workshop together and work with each other exclusively as partners throughout the day. However, individuals are welcome to join as well, as long as they agree to partner with other individuals with a sense of maturity and open-mindedness (knowing that these people may be strangers to them). It is also an option, if participants wish, to switch partners at a certain point, and therefore to become acquainted with the energy of a wider spectrum of partners. This actually forms a much better foundation for Tantra Massage in general, but may not fit with certain participants’ needs or desires. Anyone who wishes to remain with one partner is perfectly welcome; no one will ever be pressured to change partners.
Women’s Yoni Massage Workshops
Women connect deeply in these workshops, building up a strong sisterhood and discovering their own femininity better by touching one another, which is very heart-warming. Women with women, who normally experience competitiveness, here can be vulnerable and express themselves freely with each other. When I touch another woman, I know myself better. When women learn to touch each other, they learn to embrace themselves. When they see the light and beauty in other women, they see the light in themselves. When a non-orgasmic women partners with a woman who’s very open, she will at times acquire that woman’s qualities just by touching her, in a sort of sacred osmosis.
Couples’ Yoni and Lingam Tantra Massage Workshops
In a safe and sacred space, I also hold these training workshops in groups of mixed couples. Women will be worshipping and massaging the lingams of their partners, thereby honoring the Supreme Masculine inherent in the men before them, and men will learn to give fully to women, honoring the Divine Feminine in all Her glory as represented in their beautiful partners.
Special Considerations for Learning Tantra Massage
Very often people experience stress when they want to give a massage, because at that moment they confront their own judgment, performance anxiety, and lack of self-confidence. In this workshop, I will give you all the step-by-step technical instruction and techniques you need in order to offer Tantra Massage to your beloved. But much more importantly, I will show you how to make this a gift to yourself as well, so that when you give massage you are able to be present, experiencing a journey to yourself and love for yourself as well. You will learn and experience how to offer the recipient what he or she needs without letting your own inhibitions stop you. You will practice becoming an instrument of love, giving from your heart and not your ego – and in fact, learning to recognize the many manifestations of ego.
As givers and as humans the biggest gift we perceive is when the recipient of our gift is truly pleased with it. When it is not received well, we feel disappointment, but when we see joy realized deep down we are very happy because our deep yearning to give is fulfilled. This training will guide you to give from your heart and not your mind. You will learn that there is nothing you can do wrong when you are fully present and giving from your heart. There is nothing you have to do but be yourself, connecting with the recipient, observing what he or she needs, and communicating what to say and not to say. Being so present and dedicated to another is an incredible gift in itself; combining this love-in-action with the gift of Tantra Massage is a truly divine offering!
Interested? Contact me right away!